Saturday, May 31, 2008

Things That Make You Go "Ewwwwww"

I've been sick for the last few days with a nasty virus -- one that has left my tonsils covered with icky sores. I made my husband humor me and take a look down my gullet with a flashlight, to which he reacted with a repulsed "ewwwww, yuck"! Honestly, I was hoping for that reaction to validate my moaning and groaning during this plague.

So that got me thinking of other things that have made me go "ewwwww"! I've got a little down time right now, being sick and all, and have been compiling a mental list. Brace yourselves, it might not be pretty. Here goes:


1. Let me start with an "easy" one -- I positively cannot stomach anything remotely having to do with the regurgitation process. I can't see it, smell it or even HEAR someone getting sick -- or else I start to gag. I can't even stand the word "vomit" or its synonyms. I'm grateful for my hubby, who serves as our official Puke Patrol. HE COMPLETES ME, PEOPLE!

2. When spending the night with my grandparents as a child, I got a bed time drink from a cup in the bathroom. Well, the next morning I discovered that it was the very same cup Grandma used every night to soak her dentures! (oooh, I just threw up in my mouth a little bit at the memory. PUKE PATROL!!)

3. A well-fed bird left us this love offering on our picture window this morning. NICE.... When Evan saw this handiwork, he said "WHAT has that bird been eating, anyway?!" Mr. Puke Patrol needs to get that cleaned up STAT. :-)

4. When visiting another relative, I was half-way finished eating breakfast when I noticed movement and wiggling in my bowl of Raisin Bran -- yes, BUGS. I mean, I'm all for fiber, but ....

5. Our kitty recently had a bout with worms. You know how I know for sure? Because my son picked one up out of her litter box, WITH HIS FINGERS and showed me.

6. When viewing a house to bid a cleaning job, the homeowner introduced me their pit bull puppies, who sleep curled up inside the folks' pots & pans.

7. When my grandpa was getting remarried at around 80 years of age, he pulled my dad aside and assured him that "it wasn't just for the sex." Which brings to mind my next entry:

8. On vacation my parents would force us kids to "go on ahead of them to the pool; they'll catch up with us". I never put 2 and 2 together ....... until one fateful day when ..... ummm ....... well, I ummmm....... FORGOT MY POOL TOWEL and went back to the hotel room to retrieve it. Let's just say that certain images were burned into my 12-year-old retinas that remain to this day. 22 years of hypnotic therapy have helped me block that out a little.

That's all I can think of off the top of my head. What about you? What things make you go "ewwwww"?


Captain Jack said...

I am so using all these great stories at my next "Pirate Party" at church. Keep them coming.
By the way....
What happened to that great fly trap story?

Jennifer said...

Mason recently yelled at me from the bathroom after being in there for some time. "MOM...guess what happens after you drink a blue shlushly?" Ewwwww!