Counselors Standing By......

This week, I can finally feel Fall in the air. Hello, long lost friend! For the record, I LOVE ME SOME FALL WEATHER. You know, the crisp, cool mornings followed by mild, sunny afternoons? Getting into a warm, cozy bed while there's just a hint of chill in the air. Oh yea! Bring on the college football (GO BUCKS), pots of chili and fall decor.

Before we know it, the kiddos will be donning their trick-or-treat costumes. Which makes me wonder -- How old is TOO old to trick or treat, anyway? And NO, I'm not wondering on MY behalf ..... my 12-ear-old mentioned that a group of her friends might all go door to door begging for Dum Dum suckers one more year. What do you, the jury, think about that proposal?

I will admit that I've been judgmental at times as the primary candy-passer-outer at our house. Those of you who bring your newborns trick-or-treating ..... It's cute and all, but we all know that YOU'RE the one who's going to be sucking down that Almond Joy, not junior (you know, the one with NO teeth).

And can I just say outright that if you boys have to shave, and you girls are "more developed" than me -- chances are GOOD you have passed your prime in the partaking of the trick-or-treating festivities. There, I said it! Don't tell me that you haven't had those thoughts at some point.

Moving on ...... A few years ago, I served as the room mom for Allison's 3rd grade class. As such, I was expected to plan a "Fall Party". Instead of going the route of witches and goblins, I opted for a GROSS OUT party, a la Fear Factor. It was such a blast, even if some of the kids are still undergoing therapy as a result. I'm confident they'll get over it by their senior year.

We divided the class into teams and they took turns going head-to-head, racing to eat really disgusting "delicacies" -- such as "cow brains" ..... but the piece de resistance was chocolate pudding, served inside a diaper for dynamic presentation. (It's important to mention that the diaper should be unused.)

Then the kids eagerly lined up for a helping of kitty litter cake, scooped out of a kitty litter box for full impact. To make that, you crumble up prepared cake, then mix in some gooey pudding, then top with "styled" Tootsie Rolls on top for garnish. It's a hoot, and a memory for sure!

And there's nothing that says "I'm a serious room mom" like calling other moms and asking them to bring goodies to the party such as "boogers on a stick" (pretzels topped with cheez whiz + green food coloring).

Yes, my friend, we walked the fine line of INTRIGUING and DISTURBING that day.

Those kids are STILL talking about that party every time they see me. And are likely still talking to their counselors about it as well.

Funny thing ...... I've NEVER been asked to be a room mom since. Maybe they're waiting until the litigation is over.