Mission Impossible

I have a bit of hard-hitting news that chubby girls all across the globe need to be informed of. Real Geraldo Rivera type stuff.

Yes, I'm bold enough to speak up and take a stand! The producers of "20/20" have indeed been contacted, but don't seem to share my urgency..... hmmm, perhaps Judge Judy would be receptive. I wonder if that restraining order is still in effect.

See "EXHIBIT A", paying particular attention to the key word which is written in blue.
F -- I -- R -- M -- I -- N -- G

The official definition of firming, according to Merriam-Webster: to make solid or compact. Or as I interpreted the label, thin thighs in a bottle.

Being a reasonable and responsible consumer, I did heretofore conclude that a $5.69 investment would be worthwhile and prudent..... and more cost-effective than liposuction.

LET THE RECORD SHOW ..... that my thighs have decidedly remained UN-FIRM during the use of this product. BOTH times I applied it. NOT solid NOR compact.

Of course, I can appreciate that it would be like expecting this shaker of salt:

To melt away this:





I'm just sayin' ........


I'll just have to settle for my UN-FIRM, yet tan -- OK, off-white -- colored legs..... and forget about mini skirts! The way God intended it.