Icked Out for Eternity

Yesterday afternoon I was in the house beginning dinner prep. when the girls came SCREAMING into the kitchen about a terrifying spider they saw. I didn't worry too much about it until they said it was running into our garage.

Don't get me wrong. I've seen Charlotte's Web. I don't seek spiders out to do them harm. I'm a live and let live girl -- BUT if I'm aware a spider is coming near our living quarters, I'm going to investigate.

So I put down my mixing bowl and went to take a look ..... and they were right. I had hoped they were exaggerating. It was HUGE and scary, and apparently looking to be roommates with us.

It was the kind of spider that I wondered if I could squish without screaming simultaneously. Not only did its incredible size make me queasy, but it seemed to be furry. I'd never seen anything like it. I found this picture on the internet, and it came the closest to what we encountered. Only double, no triple, its size.

There was no time to hunt for the bug spray. So I took a deep breath, heart racing, and held my foot precariously over top the spider, expecting it to make a mad dash away from the size 9 tennis shoes.

Then I lowered the boom. When I squished it, I couldn't help but let out a little squeal ...... then started really screaming when I realized that HUNDREDS of baby spiders were emerging from their dead mama. It was a pinata of sorts.

Apparently the spider wasn't furry after all -- she was actually carrying hundreds of tiny baby spiders on her back! Sheer instincts kicked in immediately, and before I knew it I was doing a Mexican Hat Dance all around the vicinity to try to contain the spread of the baby spider colony.

And I'll never be the same. In my heart, I know that every single time I see a spider for the rest of my life, my mind will go back to that horrifying image.

Now it's time for my emergency appointment with my therapist. The end.