I'm watching the Miss USA pageant and they just finished the swimsuit portion of the competition. I'll admit that the main reason I watch the swimsuit part is solely to see if MAYBE, just MAYBE one of those girls' legs might have a single, minute, subtle trace of a jiggle when they walk. And let me tell ya, it's tough to fully pay attention while I'm polishing off that baker's dozen of Krispy Kreme doughnuts and squeezing into my Lane Bryant jeans so I can pay the pizza delivery guy at the door!
I do love watching these pageants, and always have. My favorite part is coming up -- the evening gowns! Bring on the glitz, girls. And while you're at it, bring me a bacon cheeseburger!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Everything You Ever Wanted to Know about Tiger Sharks
Evan had a big event his week in his class -- YES, the long-awaited, annual 2nd grade Animal Report Night! (hold your applause until the conclusion, please) All the parents were pressured to, oops, I mean invited to come to the school and admire (i.e. act interested in) all the masterpieces. I found myself making the rounds, exclaiming statements such as "WOW, I had NO idea a wild mustang weighed that! How fascinating!" (by the way, it was ironically my goal weight)
Some of the projects were SO extravagant -- EVEN fancier than our clay shark glued to the paper-covered box. I suspect some parents logged more hours than the kids on this project!
Our little guy was required to put together a Power Point presentation (maybe he'll show me how), make the display showed in the picture, AND write a comprehensive report (amusing portions shared below):
TIGER SHARKS
This animal may lose thousands of teeth in its life. Do you lose thousands of teeth in your life? It can force out unwanted objects out of its stomach or throw up. (hey, he's a boy ..... he's biologically obliged to include a bodily function somewhere) This animal breathes by swimming so when they're asleep they must swim. My animal is a Tiger Shark. (insert lots of boring facts here.....)
I loved doing my research on Tiger Sharks! They are not very pretty but they can do many, many things. They have been around for ages and ages! I couldn 't choose between a shark or a tiger. I put tiger and shark together and got Tiger Shark. The End.
There it is -- he's officially surpassed me for any potential journalism job at "Inside Edition".
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
We are the CHAMPIONS, my friend
GO JAYHAWKS! OK, I'll be honest -- It's not that I really care ALL that much about college basketball. But in Kansas, we'll take bits of excitement wherever we can find it!
I was tickled to see Alli get into the spirit of the championship game with this kooky get-up, complete with red lipstick used for face paint! (Elaine on Seinfeld would be so disturbed....) Her little sisters quickly followed suit -- Alli's a leader that way. :-)
All 4 kids were CRAZY with school spirit during the BIG game. Such fun! And when KU won in overtime, it was even BETTER. I'll bet we have 4 little future Jayhawks here under our roof. I hope they don't leave the nest too soon!
Have a blessed day!!!!!!
Monday, April 7, 2008
On the fence about this one ....
Check out our darling, dainty girls dangling on our back yard fence -- their sole purpose being to torment the neighbor's dog. These silly willies have a ball, peeking over the top of the fence and barking at that poor little doggie. And it responds with frantic, desperate barking, to their utter glee. Now that I think of it, I'm not sure if that's so darling after all ....... but BIG fun for them nonetheless! A word to our neighbors ..... sorry about disturbing the peace with all that barking my girls provoked (and did themselves)!
It's the simple pleasures in life. Enjoy your day!
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Oh, What a Beautiful Sunday!!
Wow, this day is just gorgeous! So why am I sitting on my couch blogging, you might wonder.....hmmmm, I dunno.
But as I look out my picture window, I imagine that if I were to go outside and start singing like Snow White, I'd likely have birds swirling around and perching on my extended pointer finger. Maybe even a butterfly or two.
You know, back in the day, I actually donned a Snow White get-up for a Halloween party. Yep, I even sewed my own costume with stand-up white collar and everything! I'm talking red headband, red shoes with bows, even the all-important prop of holding an apple. At the risk of sounding conceited, I could have easily served as Snow White's body double on the set.
At the costume party, my friends got bored and we ended up in a gritty, dingy cowboy bar. Yes, a cowboy bar .... dressed as Snow White. With 99 percent of the people dressed up as, well, cowboys. And convincing ones at that. "Which of these ladies, doesn't belong here?" as they would sing on Sesame Street. I remember one cowboy suggesting that he ought to "kiss me and wake me up" ewwwwww!
Ahhhh, memories.
Followed by thoughts of "what were we thinking?" Lots of thoughts like that, actually.
On that note, I think I'll actually GO outside. Now where's my apple?
But as I look out my picture window, I imagine that if I were to go outside and start singing like Snow White, I'd likely have birds swirling around and perching on my extended pointer finger. Maybe even a butterfly or two.
You know, back in the day, I actually donned a Snow White get-up for a Halloween party. Yep, I even sewed my own costume with stand-up white collar and everything! I'm talking red headband, red shoes with bows, even the all-important prop of holding an apple. At the risk of sounding conceited, I could have easily served as Snow White's body double on the set.
At the costume party, my friends got bored and we ended up in a gritty, dingy cowboy bar. Yes, a cowboy bar .... dressed as Snow White. With 99 percent of the people dressed up as, well, cowboys. And convincing ones at that. "Which of these ladies, doesn't belong here?" as they would sing on Sesame Street. I remember one cowboy suggesting that he ought to "kiss me and wake me up" ewwwwww!
Ahhhh, memories.
Followed by thoughts of "what were we thinking?" Lots of thoughts like that, actually.
On that note, I think I'll actually GO outside. Now where's my apple?
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Rain Rain Go Away!
What a dreary, rainy, chilly day. It's a perfect day to curl up on the couch in my sweats enjoying a chick flick .... tucked under a cozy blanket .... with a nice hot cup of cocoa .... and a box of cookies ..... and my kitty on my lap ..... I might just do that, right after I finish my 700 sit-ups. Now, where was I ? um, I think 699 ? Aw, forget it -- I'll just wear a panty girdle and pop in the "Hairspray" movie! That chubby girl can MOVE. Pass the Cheetos!
Oh, by the way, I've learned that it may have been a mistake to include the word "virgin" in my initial blog. Apparently, some perverts, I mean fine, upstanding folks, search for that particular term, and seem to have gotten a mistaken impression of me. But on the bright side, I've never been so popular! (especially at the local jail.....) I think I'm on ALL their "friends" lists!!
A friend of mine urged me to blog about my morning last Friday. I awoke to Allison in tears telling me our garage door was wide open and that our kitty had, in turn, run off. Well, that's alarming on many levels, as we KNOW that we closed our garage door before going to bed, and the fact that our cat is an INDOOR cat and has never been allowed to roam the "hood". She's been in perpetual "heat", so we were sheltering her until we got her "fixed." On a side note, that kitty rolls around the floor and moans more than Madonna did in the 80's!
So I was assuring Allison that we'll find Peanut, when my youngest (Natalie) came strutting into the room, modeling her outfit for school picture day. She was wearing her sparkly Sunday dress, along with a CRAZY bleached blond wig that I've used in comedy skits! She was bound & determined to wear that wig during her photo shoot! (Ok, maybe she's seen one too many episodes of "America's Next Top Model")
THEN....Evan would NOT get out of bed, refusing to go to school. This is not typical. Apparently he keeps getting yelled out by his teacher (at least in his perception). He was tetering dangerously close to a major meltdown at the thought of facing another grueling day in his 2nd grade classroom.
On top of all that....Holly then entered the room complaining of a stomach ache. She immediately starts hurling, as I'm trying to comfort Allison about the missing cat, trying to talk Natalie out of wearing the Courtney Love "do", and coaxing Evan out of bed. Whew! Just another morning at our house!
It all turned out well -- Our cat came home (3 FULL days later); Evan went to school with a promise of a fun after-school outing; Natalie parted with her blonde ambitions for school pictures; and Holly felt fine after puking. The end. It's no wonder I'm the Poster Child for Zoloft! Can't wait to start all over again tomorrow, and see what that brings.
Oh, by the way, I've learned that it may have been a mistake to include the word "virgin" in my initial blog. Apparently, some perverts, I mean fine, upstanding folks, search for that particular term, and seem to have gotten a mistaken impression of me. But on the bright side, I've never been so popular! (especially at the local jail.....) I think I'm on ALL their "friends" lists!!
A friend of mine urged me to blog about my morning last Friday. I awoke to Allison in tears telling me our garage door was wide open and that our kitty had, in turn, run off. Well, that's alarming on many levels, as we KNOW that we closed our garage door before going to bed, and the fact that our cat is an INDOOR cat and has never been allowed to roam the "hood". She's been in perpetual "heat", so we were sheltering her until we got her "fixed." On a side note, that kitty rolls around the floor and moans more than Madonna did in the 80's!
So I was assuring Allison that we'll find Peanut, when my youngest (Natalie) came strutting into the room, modeling her outfit for school picture day. She was wearing her sparkly Sunday dress, along with a CRAZY bleached blond wig that I've used in comedy skits! She was bound & determined to wear that wig during her photo shoot! (Ok, maybe she's seen one too many episodes of "America's Next Top Model")
THEN....Evan would NOT get out of bed, refusing to go to school. This is not typical. Apparently he keeps getting yelled out by his teacher (at least in his perception). He was tetering dangerously close to a major meltdown at the thought of facing another grueling day in his 2nd grade classroom.
On top of all that....Holly then entered the room complaining of a stomach ache. She immediately starts hurling, as I'm trying to comfort Allison about the missing cat, trying to talk Natalie out of wearing the Courtney Love "do", and coaxing Evan out of bed. Whew! Just another morning at our house!
It all turned out well -- Our cat came home (3 FULL days later); Evan went to school with a promise of a fun after-school outing; Natalie parted with her blonde ambitions for school pictures; and Holly felt fine after puking. The end. It's no wonder I'm the Poster Child for Zoloft! Can't wait to start all over again tomorrow, and see what that brings.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Blooming....
Don't you just love Spring?! It's a beautiful, sunny day here, and a great day to be alive. I just LOVE to see the spring flowers peeking through the soil and beginning their blooming. The trees are beginning their budding, and the whole earth seems to be coming alive again. Can I confess that whatever "blossoming" I did in my life (physically) happened AFTER high school. In fact, I'm going to post my senior picture below as proof. Thank God for his MIRACLES in my life, and for mustache wax. 
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