A Great Day Indeed

This past weekend was a special time here in the burbs, time for our annual "Greater Andover Days" celebration. Most days are pretty doggone swell, but this day was EVEN "greater". I've got the button to prove it. I'm so glad our little town pulls this event together each year!

Saturday kicked off with a huge parade, which 3 of our kids marched in with their school float.

And there was plenty of good, simple fun to be had -- such as:
*a kids' fishing clinic
*a bus-made-into-a-playground-type-thingy
*inflatables (where I was blocked entrance because of some silly "weight limit", thankyouverymuch) ha!
*Irish folk dancers (I WANT one of those curly, bouncy wigs!)
* a cookie decorating tent (where I made off with a tub of icing when no one was looking.......)

The sight of the carnival rides made my kids' eyes bulge with desire. Can I just get four little words off my chest? THREE BUCKS A RIDE! Okay, I feel better. I guess the carnival workers are saving up for some front teeth, so it's for a worthy cause.

I had wanted to see the Miss Andover pageant, but they finished it ahead of schedule. Apparently there were only a few contestants, so it didn't take much time to flip a coin to declare the winner. With that in mind, I'm going to dust off my baton, tap shoes and evening gown, and might just give 'er a shot next year.

Evan found the carnival games enticing, and gave it his best shot at the basketball shooting booth, and came REALLY close to sinking it. Not bad for an 8-year-old. Watch out, Kobe!

Our day had several highlights, one of them being when Evan had the opportunity to try and catch a pig in a mud pit, and was subsequently hosed off by the fire department.

Then our little guy went head-to-head with his daddy and others in a pie eating contest. They were given HUGE cream pies, to be eaten with hands behind their backs. Hubby came out victorious in that challenge, as he'd been in earnest training for years.

And although I was duly proud of his success, I did think it was over-the-top a bit when he strutted and talked smack to the other 8-year-old competitors. Clearly, he's been influenced by watching too much professional wrestling.

Greg scored some Dairy Queen certificates as first prize. Of course, he won't be interested in redeeming those for quite some time ...... as he's been utterly nauseated ever since the fierce competition. He and Evan both seriously groaned for the remainder of the weekend, folks. You've seen those Pepto Bismol commercials? Well, pie eating contests were the inspiration for them.

But hey, it was quite a memory in the making! And I'm not allowed to make pie or even talk about pie while under this roof as a direct result. I'm pretty sure I can think about pie, just not verbalize those thoughts. Maybe by the time Thanksgiving rolls around.......

Embarrassment Runs in our Family

Last night, Evan told me he was confused as to the meaning of the word "gossip". Apparently that term had been raised in his 3rd grade class earlier that day, and the teacher had asked the kids what it meant.

Evan confidently raised his hand and answered "it's a scary looking person who only wears red and black." (insert confused look from the teacher) ...... Um, not quite. Anyone else?

So Evan was embarrassed and didn't really catch the true meaning of the word. As he was telling me all this, and I was wondering "what in the world could he have been thinking of, when he offered that answer?" Gossip ...... hmmm .......

Can you guess? Scroll down .......








Turns out he was thinking of the word "gothic" or "goth", and had THIS mental image:





On a separate note, I was on my way to meet a friend for lunch yesterday. She told me to call her as I arrived at her office parking lot, and she'd scoot out and meet me.

On the way there, I realized that I didn't have her phone number stored in my cell phone -- but I was 90% sure I remembered it. So I dialed that number and was greeted by a cheerful "hello". Being the goofball that I am, I said "Hey, get your skinny little arse out to the flag pole and let's go to lunch"!

PREGNANT PAUSE ........

Voice on the other end, "um, EXCUSE me?"

Wrong number. Oops!

Identity Crisis

Tonight is the season premiere of "The Office" -- whoo hoo!

And in honor of such a special occasion, I'd like to come clean and make a shocking and painful confession.

Here goes ......... (deep breath) .......... I'm Kevin.

On Facebook, I was invited to take a "Which Office Character Are You" quiz. A silly, just for fun sort of thing. Only for me it ended up being decidedly UN-FUN. That's because my quiz results revealed that I was indeed KEVIN.

You may not even know who Kevin is -- I can sense your puzzled look. He's not even important enough to be included in the show's picture above. If you need a refresher, take a look at this clip.

Yes, I'm flattered. And simultaneously suicidal.

In an attempt to "change my Office identity" if you will, I even retook the Facebook quiz, intentionally changing my answers and hoping to end up as Pam, or even Jim ...... and I'm not lying when I say that my identity came back as KEVIN. Again! Even with my submission of completely different answers.

Ouch. I hope you'll still be my friend. Meet me for Kool Aid happy hour?

Who Needs CNN?

This is a REAL headline -- not a joke newspaper printed at the State Fair.

Our little town has hit new heights in the realms of classiness.

Hard hitting news indeed ...... especially if you're constipated.

(Sorry, I just couldn't resist). I'm heavily influenced by my boy's potty humor.

Mixed Messages from Above on Weighty Matters .....

This morning began as most typical school mornings, with my ample & nimble slinging of Cocoa Pebbles and shoving, um I mean "encouraging" the kids to hurry to the bus stop. Not that they were even running late .... I was just eager to reconnect with Matt Lauer and such.

AHHHH........I'd like to go on record as saying that 7:56 a.m. is my very favorite time of the day. 7:56 and ALL IS WELL! Just me and the cat, winking at each other with a look of satisfied peace and tranquility and an unspoken agreement of "you leave me alone, and I'll leave YOU alone".

As I was pouring my first cup of coffee, mouth watering and humming a happy tune, I heard a most confusing and equally unwelcomed sound. The garage door opening. Hmmmm..... wassup? That ain't right.

My children poured back INTO the house, saying that they'd apparently MISSED the bus. Huh?! They reported the bus must have come early, because there were no other kids at the bus stop.

Just as they were explaining that to me, we heard the unmistakeable low rumble of the bus ..... and caught sight of it as it was pulling away. Now they really HAD missed the bus.

Oh well, no biggie -- I'd have to run them to school, and saw the whole situation as a direct sign from God that he wanted me to have THIS for breakfast today:

OK, maybe I'm "reading into it" a little, but why else would my loving Heavenly Father make me physically leave my cozy home before 8:15 a.m.?! Hey, as I always say, "when life gives you lemons, go get an Egg McMuffin."

So I threw on some ratty clothes and sunglasses, because me old face had yet to be spackled and painted for the day, and headed out the door.

After dropping the kids off, I headed to the Home of the Egg McMuffin -- and was disappointed, nay, horrified, to discover roughly 22 cars in the drive-thru line. Apparently, God had been casting out the McMuffin vision widely this morning. OH THE CONFUSION.

So I had two choices -- wait in the LONG line and spend approximately $6.42 in gasoline cost ..... OR ..... (deep breath) leave my vehicle and GO INSIDE to place my order. THE AGONY OF SUCH WEIGHTY DECISIONS THIS EARLY IN THE MORNING!

You'll be happy to know that, in the interest of NOT frightening small children in the McDonalds vicinity with my disheveled and downright frightening appearance, I opted to stay inside my vehicle and head home. You're welcome.

So -- NO children will look like THIS because of my deep, burning, selfish desires for a breakfast sandwich. My conscience is clear, and I'll just go pour myself a bowl of Raisin Bran now.

Equal Parts Hilarity and Horror

If you want a great laugh, albeit a "gross-out one" ...... Take a look at Toni's post here:

http://inthemidstofthisseason.blogspot.com/2008/09/lucille-ball-lives-on.html

Ah, the glamour and glory of being a mother of a toddler.....

The whole time I was reading it, my internal dialogue went something like this: no, no, no, no, NOOOOOO!

Feel Like You're Getting the Short End of the Stick?