Shorthand: Natalie Style

During church last Sunday, I noticed our youngest was intently taking sermon notes ..... in her own "special" shorthand.

There were pages and pages of notes that all looked exactly like this one.

She claimed to be writing what the pastor was saying ..... but I suspect it actually says "my mom made me wear this stupid dress I don't like".

Oh well, at least she wasn't playing tic tac toe. Or drawing funny pictures of the deacons. Or mommy.

Summer Time and the Water Feels Good

Calling Daniel Son

As luck would have it, we arrived in Louisiana just in time for Evan and Natalie to be Bethany's guests (victims) at karate class. Here they patiently wait for class to start -- you may notice Bethany smiling broadly ...... because she KNOWS what they're in for!

Now, my kids have seen Karate Kid, and probably expected to be waxing someone's vehicle or perhaps trying their hand at catching a fly mid-air with chopsticks........

However, the teacher (who was downright scary to me) had a different agenda in mind. Think hard core ..... sort of like Crouching Tiger, Hidden Toddler.

Here, she assists Bethany in completing her 370th sit-up, grunting

"Yes, Ma'am" between each.

My little sis assures me that the teacher is a sweetheart -- but she does have a tough classroom style. I found myself watching with clenched teeth, thinking "DO IT RIGHT, NATALIE, OR SHE'S GOING TO BE ON YOU LIKE STINK ON ...." well, never mind what I thought.

For the record, Evan was holding his own until Bethany did an illegal sweep of his leg and took him out. His only retaliation, of course, was the one-legged, arms-in-the-air-like-a-zombie move.

At one point, the Lord of the Dojo commanded all the parents to come on the floor and assist their children in forming the proper foot position to most effectively kick the bajeebies out of their foes.

I was too terrified to move, so I in turn, utilized the "trickle down theory" and commanded my nephew, Garrison, to go work with Natalie on the mat.

Bethany loves karate and takes class very seriously. I fully expect her to be able to kick her aunt's rump any time now.

I'm feeling a Karate Kid III in the can soon!

Our Very Own Juno

Maybe you'll recall my mentioning our cat, Peanut, before ..... If not, this might refresh your memory:

Right before we left for vacation, my children noticed, well, how shall I say it delicately........ a change in Peanut's underside (let's just say they nick-named her "Nips" -- 6 to be exact). That was our first clue that our sweet little girl had been around the block, quite literally. The kids are convinced that 6 kittens are on the way -- and I didn't have it in me to explain that, if we follow their logic, every pregnant woman on earth would be birthing twins.....

Anyhoo, they have already started talk of each "adopting" one until they're old enough to give away. Evan scrambled to be the first to claim the name: Zelda, the Mighty Warrior, for his kitten. Somehow I doubt his sisters would fight him for that right....

That reminds me of when I was a kid and my dad brought home a new puppy. I was in about 1st grade, and wanted to name her "Lucky Charm" or "Leprechaun" ...... Well, my two older brothers out-voted me and named her (no joke) "Lobo, King of the Wolf Pack". Does anyone else see a pattern here with boys naming pets?!

Before we left for vacation she resembled this:

When we got home 2 weeks later:

I'm no doctor, but I'm pretty sure we need to attend Lamaze SOON. BREATHE, Kitty, BREATHE !!!! Hee Hee Hooooooooo

What NOT to Wear

Happy 4th of July! Got earplugs?

We're enjoying a lazy morning around the house, and I thought I'd blog a line or twenty.... in my nightgown, if you wondered. Hey, what's the hurry? In honor of our men and women who have served our country, I'm embracing my bathrobe. It's my own personal way of celebrating....

I'll dress in my Betsy Ross garb and grab my powdered wig in time to join the fireworks extravaganza at dark -- when our usually cozy, quiet cul-de-sac eerily begins to resemble a war zone. It's about as close to Baghdad as you'll ever get in the States.

I've never seen people so serious about their fireworks arsenal as they are here in Kansas! Folks are practically mortgaging their homes for a supply of explosives that would put the Taliban to shame. Sweet little grandmas who are usually busy kneading pie crust have blown their Metamucil money on bottle rockets and yelling, "THERE SHE BLOWS -- FIRE IN THE HOLE" and diving head-first into bunkers, knee highs-a-flappin' in the wind. Gotta love the enthusiasm, even if I'm sore from instinctively hitting the deck constantly while my neighbors play "Front Yard Fallujah".

On a serious note ..... Isn't America great?! I'm truly grateful for our freedom and for all the men and women who have served and sacrificed to preserve that liberty. May God richly bless you and yours. Happy 4th!!

Honey, I'm Home!

Did any of you out there miss me, or even notice my absence from the bloggosphere?! We got home last night from a two week vacation. For the most part, I had no access to internet during our time away -- which is pretty much equivalent to that Man vs. Wild television show.

We had a great time overall, although some circumstances along the way were .... well .... certainly "memorable". Here's my recap of the "12 Days of Vacation":

On the first day of vacation, my children gave to me -- a dead rat lying on the beach.

On the second day of vacation, oh what did we see? An ocean full of stinging jellyfish.

On the third day of vacation, what's that on your face? Allergic rash brought on by the sunscreen.

On the fourth day of vacation, mom what did you eat, to cause you such violent vomiting?

On the fifth day of vacation, kids what's that you have? Water balloons which are their "babies".

On the sixth day of vacation, called the family doc -- requesting drugs to treat our swimmers ear.

On the seventh day of vacation, my mom was sick again -- this time we had to dial 911.

On the eighth day of vacation, we caught a lot of fish -- even with that puny Barbie pole.

On the ninth day of vacation, my mom she underwent -- gall bladder removal surgery.

On the tenth day of vacation, we had a lot of fun, playing in our back yard swimming pool.

On the 11th day of vacation, we drove the 4-wheelers -- and had a dance party at poolside.

On the 12th day of vacation, the doctor sprung my mom, and then we let off lots of fireworks.

So there you have it in a nutshell -- except I couldn't figure out how to incorporate the phrase "we ate non-stop for 14 days straight to the extent that our stomachs nearly ruptured". Call 911 again!!

And now, it's back to life, back to reality. OK, WHO packed this dead rat in my suitcase?!